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When I think about my former student Amy, I am reminded of how different lives can be, depending on the family and home environment in which we grow up. I know that Amy’s home life was less than ideal. Often she came to school hungry, dirty, and angry. I think that she felt frustrated with a lot of things happening in her life that were beyond her control, and she dealt with her frustration by lashing out, hurting others, or completely shutting down. I think that I developed such a “soft spot” for her because I was also able to see her vulnerable side when she was trying to behave, and be helpful.
I consider myself lucky because, as a resource teacher, I have the privilege of providing a quiet, safe space for students when they need to calm down or de-escalate. Without an audience, and once the nerves have settled, I often hear how the child is really feeling, and then I can start to build a relationship with him or her. I recognize that classroom teachers (at least this was the case when I was a classroom teacher) rarely have such an opportunity.
Amy shaped me as a professional because she caused me to rethink “…what it means to teach” (Kumashiro, 2009, p. 41). For students like Amy, it did not work to demand that she sit in her desk, listen, and learn the mandated curriculum. That route had been tried and failed. Rather, making a personal connection, developing a rapport, and establishing a safe, trusting environment were necessary prerequisites, before any learning could begin. Once that was in place, the shift could then turn to academic expectations.
Although many students leave marks on our hearts, I will always hold a special place in mine for Amy. Amy taught me more about resiliency than any textbook or article or guest speaker ever could.
I thank all of you for sharing your special stories today about students who have touched your lives.
My question is: Do you think resiliency is innate in all children? Is it a skill that can be taught or strengthened in schools?
Kumashiro, K. (2009). Against common sense: Teaching and learning toward social justice. New York: Routledge Falmer.
tmillersrpa's Blog 
To answer your question Teresa, I believe kids are naturally resilient. They are amazing little creatures who seem to continue to “turn the other cheek” and often give others a chance to do better the next time around. I know one thing for sure, that despite the resiliency of children, far too many kids experience things that I’m sure I could never even imagine, something that I feel is an injustice in the world and one that I know we strive to make right (even a little bit) within the walls of our schools. It struck me as interesting today that many of the stories that were shared were about our troubled kids, the ones that have the hardest stories to share, and yet, they are the ones that continue to have the greatest impact on us. I think that resiliency can be taught, and strengthened, but I do wonder for just how long kids can “turn the other cheek”, hoping that things work out, before they decide to say “forget it”… or do they?
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I am also constantly amazed at how often “kids can turn the other cheek” time and again. I think we are attached to the ones who seem to have it the toughest because we admire their courage and ability to persevere against great odds. Thanks for your great comments.
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